Third: Feeling responsible

Women must feel that they are responsible for raising their children. They should not be oblivious or careless about guiding them. They must not let laziness, procrastination, or a feeling of irresponsibility make them less keen on guiding their children.

Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.} [Quran 66:6]

Therefore, we must avoid everything that may lead us to Hell and we must protect our families from that as well. The Final Reckoning will be difficult and a great terror will be felt on the Day of Resurrection, and the Hell fire will keep asking for more dwellers. We have to act according to this saying by ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, “Question yourselves before you are questioned, weigh your deeds before they are measured for you, and prepare yourselves for the great exhibition for judgment.”

Women will not be saved for merely having cooked for their children and washed their clothes. They must raise their children properly, and bring them up to have a sound Islamic creed, perform upright acts of worship, and have righteous manners. They must teach their children useful knowledge.

Mothers should ask themselves how much time they allocate for monitoring their children; how much care, love, and guidance they give to their children. It should be noted that children will not benefit from their mothers’ advice unless their mothers are good examples for them to follow.

As such, mothers should practice what they advise their children to do. Why do some mothers ask their children to say good words while the children hear nothing but insults and abusive words from them? Why do some mothers ask their children to respect time while they waste their time shopping and gossiping over the phone or during visits?

Dear Muslim sister, your child is a trust in your hand, so you must care for him/her and assume the responsibility of the trust about which you will be questioned. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.} [Quran 66:6]

When should you start guiding your little children? When a child senses that a certain behavior is bad, avoids it, fears to commit it or be seen committing it, this implies that he/she is ready to be disciplined and guided properly. Therefore, they must not be neglected and left uncared for. Neither should they be given unexaggerated guidance; otherwise, the guidance will lose its value. Mothers who bring up their children should be conscious of Allaah The Almighty in every act they commit or word they utter. They should be careful not to treat their children unwisely and without giving them good instruction. Also, they should consider the stage of development the children are going through. As such, they should not deal with them during adolescence as they deal with them during childhood so as not to let improper upbringing lead their children astray into superficiality or extremism. This happens when mothers fail to bring up their children righteously according to the teachings of Islam. Therefore, we stress that women should increase their awareness and knowledge about how to raise their children to know why, when, and how to guide their children properly.



Fourth: Understanding between parents

If a parent makes a mistake, the other parent should overlook it. If one of them finds it necessary to advise the other, he/she should do that with all love and respect and without letting the children realize. Parents should cooperate in righteousness and avoid disputes and quarreling -- especially in front of the children -- in order not to make them worry and consequently cause them not to respond favorably to their parents’ advice.



Fifth: Diffusing the spirit of righteousness at home

Children who grow up in families whose members are committed to Islam will imbibe the spiritual atmosphere of the family and the pure conduct of its members.

If the grounds of religious and moral tendencies of children are established during childhood, in most cases, they will be strong during adolescence and maturity. If the family fails to raise the children righteously, the children will seek philosophies that satisfy their emotions and gratify their desires, nothing more.

It is necessary to implant religious consciousness in children and help them to properly choose their friends. To that end, they must be provided with a suitable atmosphere for choosing righteous friends from among their neighbors and schoolmates. They should also be discouraged from keeping bad company and prevented from associating with immoral peers.