Answer
Salam Dear Sister,
Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
I personally appreciate that you have come to a Muslim site to ask such decisive questions concerning your personal life.
As for him marrying you, yes, my dear, he is definitely permitted to marry you, as long as you are a believer. In general, the Quran appreciates People of the Book (Christians and Jews) and permits Muslim men to marry women who believe in God and follow these religions.
The Quran says what means
{This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,— when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).} (Al-Ma'idah 5:5)
The Quran gives this special permission because usually women of the Book have their own faith, so they will naturally appreciate and respect their husbands' faith.
According to Islam, the children follow the father's religion. The Quran trusts that this non-Muslim woman of the Book will give her children the freedom to follow their father's faith and will respect their religion.
At a young age, children are usually more attached to their mother, yet here Islam does trust that woman of the Book, since she is already a believer and would be keeping her promise. It is a matter of trust, my dear Sara.
Do You Have to Convert?
Now, you are asking if you have to convert to Islam. The answer is "No, you do not have to convert to Islam in order to become his wife." Of course your husband will be very happy if you choose to be a Muslim. Actually, all the Muslim community will be more than happy if you ever make that choice.
But, my dear, if you ever make such a decision, it must never be to please your husband or to please any human being; it must be only to please God, the One and Only Creator of every soul that exists.
If you never became a Muslim, you would still be his lawful wife. The Islamic logic behind this permission is that the Muslim man does believe in Prophet Jesus (not as a divine entity) and in Prophet Moses, among many other biblical figures. These figures are highly respected by People of the Book and by Muslims as well.
So, a Muslim husband, who is naturally the head of the family, united on the bases of love and harmony, should never ever deny his wife her rights of worship or rituals. On the contrary, he is obliged to give her space to worship.
Will They Accept You?
As for whether his family and society will accept you or not, this is a matter that is really unknown to me. It really depends on how tolerant they are and how accepting they are to how different you are from them.
Some people are very happy to accept a non-Muslim woman in the family, wishing her to become a Muslim by time. This is due to the fact that practicing Muslims usually enjoy inner peace and have no doubts about their faith. They wouldn't sacrifice their interior personal happiness for anything in the world. They really and truly wish that all members of the universal society would join them in this happiness.
Yet, nothing in Islam nor in the world obliges you to fulfill their wish. The Quran clearly states what means
{Let there be no compulsion in religion.} (Al-Baqarah 2:256)
Yet some others might be indifferent. Another category might be very intolerant and reject the new member who comes from another world, completely different from theirs.
In all cases, my advice to you is to be very patient and very tolerant. As much as you want them to accept you, they need you to accept them. You will also need to accept their difference.
It would be nice of you to respect and appreciate their values and norms. However, at the beginning it will take you a while till you understand their traditions and habits.
Don't show them that you see them to be negative, do not criticize what you don't understand, and never ever show disrespect to their religion. You don't have to believe in Islam, but make sure to respect it.
Learning More to Understand
What you need here is never to mix up their culture, habits, traditions, and the way they express themselves as Muslims with what Islam is for real. And here comes my advice to you: Get to know more about Islam as a faith, a creed, a religion, and a comprehensive way of life.
As for your decision whether to convert or not, the best thing to do is to study more about Islam. Whether you become a Muslim someday or not, you are still going to live with a Muslim husband and you might be raising Muslim kids. You need to know more about where they come from and where they are going.
The best source for you to get to know what Islam is for real is to read the Quran. Muslims believe that the Quran is God's final and unaltered divine revelation to mankind. It was originally revealed in Arabic, and it has been preserved unaltered in its original Arabic divine wordings for more than 1,400 years.
You will now find various translations in many languages, but of course the translations are by the hands of human translators. They translate it directly from the original Arabic text, which Arab Muslims still use till today. Of course, the Quran is not directed to Arabs only, but it was only revealed in that language.
My suggestion to you is to read more than one translation of the Quran because each translation still has the human touch of the translator. I wish you could read the original Arabic text, but I expect reading one or two translations would do.
After reading the Quran, you might be able to decide whether you want to become a Muslim. If then you decide not to become a Muslim, at least you would understand more about the mentality of Muslims and how they should go on with their lives.
Well, I finally would like to congratulate you, Sara, for the good news. I wish you all happiness, my dear, in your future marriage. In case you ever need to know anything more about Islam, please never hesitate to come back to us. We are always available for you.
Wishing you all the best and hoping you would stay in touch.
Salam. |
