The Answer:
We have to accept that it is not normal to get tired of living. That most people strive to live and survive is the clearest evidence of it.
Then, the fact that you are annoyed by the world life and want to commit suicide cannot be explained by normal psychology. Even if you do not accept it, you need to see a good psychiatrist and undergo a treatment.
You want Allah, who does not leave ants without a prince, or bees without a queen, to leave man, whom He elevated to the rank of vicegerency of the earth, unattended. Can it be possible?
You say "Allah did not ask me when He created me." Is it logical at all? You did not exist before Allah created you; why should He ask you? Nothing is said to a non-existent being; why should he be asked?
We should not forget that Allah does not ask us when He creates us and when he kills us. It is contrary to the character, nature, honor and dignity of man, who is weak, miserable and in need of Allah in every aspect, even only to imagine something like that.
A person who has some intelligence will accept that it is very ugly and useless for a shepherd to criticize Avicenna regarding wisdom, the president regarding politics and a general regarding military strategy, for a mouse to compete with man and an ignorant person to question Socrates regarding philosophy.
It is illogical to evaluate and to oppose the endless wisdom of Allah, who is the Creator of the universe and who has endless knowledge, power and wisdom, with man's insufficient intelligence.
We should not forget that it is the best choice to kiss the hand that you cannot bend and to surrender to it. Then, we need to kiss Allah's hand of mercy and wisdom so that He will be pleased with us.
We should know very well that Allah will not change the material and spiritual, the religious and scientific system for the sake of our objections, which are not even as effective as the wing of a mosquito.
As Badiuzzaman Said Nursi puts it, "Whoever criticizes Divine Determining is striking his head against an anvil on which it will break, and whoever objects to Divine Mercy will himself be deprived of it” “Hell demands people just as Paradise demands people.”
Then, everybody needs to save his own ship. Death is very close to us; it might come tomorrow or earlier; it can save us from the heavy responsibilities of life. For believers, death is like a discharge certificate. It is a ticket to Paradise. We need to show some more patience. Life is very short. There is no need to make it shorter by committing suicide.
The following words that Badiuzzaman Said Nursi said for sick people and that are valid for all of us show that the test of the world is not easy:“Impatient sick person! The fact that those who come to this world continuously depart, and the young grow old, and man perpetually revolves amid death and separation testifies that he did not come to this world to enjoy himself and receive pleasure.This means that man did not come to this world in order to live in fine manner and pass his life in ease and pleasure. Rather, possessing vast capital, he came here to work and do trade for an eternal, everlasting life.The capital given to man is his lifetime. Had there been no illness, good health and well-being would have caused heedlessness, for they show the world to be pleasant and make the hereafter forgotten. They do not want death and the grave to be thought of; they cause the capital of life to be wasted on trifles.Whereas illness suddenly opens the eyes, it says to the body: 'You are not immortal. You have not been left to your own devices. You have a duty. Give up your pride, think of the One Who created you. Know that you will enter the grave, so prepare yourself for it!'Thus, from this point of view, illness is an admonishing guide and advisor that never deceives. It should not be complained about in this respect, indeed, should be thanked for. And if it is not too severe, patience should be sought to endure it.” (Lem'alar (*****es), 206-207)
We ask our Lord, who has endless mercy, not to leave us on our own and to lead us to the good and the right, to the way to Paradise, to protect us from the evil of the soul and Satan and to cure all of our material and spiritual illnesses. Amin!
