.....Being Honest and Straightforward in Islam.. Candor......

Candor

Our pure religion appreciates counsel to the extent that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The Deen (religion) is [offering] sincere advice." Thus has Islam nurtured its followers to speak the truth, even if it may be bitter, and to be frank with everyone. Linguistically, candor refers to the quality of being honest and straightforward. Some scholars have defined it as “portraying one’s inner self without distortion or evasion, in a way that expresses ideas clearly, so that one’s deeds match his [or her] words.” [Al-Khuluq Al-Kaamil, by Muhammad Ahmad Jaad Al-Mawla, may Allaah have mercy upon him]

The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, fostered forthrightness in his Companions. Before giving the pledge at Al-‘Aqabah, Abu Al-Haytham ibn At-Tayyihaan, may Allaah be pleased with him, stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allaah! There are ties between us and others [i.e., the Jews], which we shall sever. If we do this and Allaah grants you victory, will you return to your own people and leave us?” The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, smiled and replied, “No, this would never be the case. Blood is [for] blood and destruction [for] destruction [meaning, that he would avenge for the death of any of them and that if their life becomes violable, his life be rendered such as well]. You are of me and I am from you; I shall fight whoever you fight and conciliate with whoever you make peace." He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, neither became angry, nor did he object to or rebuke the man for his frankness. Rather, he appreciated this quality in him, which should encourage the rest of us to possess it, as well.

Similarly, when the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, led the Companions in a prayer which consisted of four units, of which he only offered two, Thul-Yadayn, may Allaah be pleased with him, asked, with due courtesy, veneration and candidness: “O Messenger of Allaah, did you forget or was the prayer shortened?” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied, “I neither overlooked [anything] nor was it made short.” Thereupon, the Companions frankly replied, “No, Messenger of Allaah, you did forget." He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then, did not reproach them or feel embarrassed; rather, he then completed his prayer and performed the prostration of forgetfulness. Will the public figures today endure the candor of their followers like the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam?

In another incident, when it was announced that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, permitted the assassination of ‘Abdullaah ibn Ubayy ibn Salool, leader of the hypocrites, the son of that man – the great Companion, ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abdullaah ibn Ubayy ibn Salool, may Allaah be pleased with him – came to him, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have been told that you want to eliminate my father because of what has been reported to you concerning him. If you are going to [proceed with that], command me to do it and I will bring you his head. By Allaah, [the tribe of] Al-Khazraj knows that there has never been among them a man more dutiful to his father than I. I am afraid that you may order someone else, who may kill him; then, I will not be able to look at the assassin of my father walking among the people. Hence, I may then kill him, thus killing a believer to avenge a disbeliever; and in doing so, [I know] I would enter Hell.’ So, the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, then suggested, “No [leave that]; we will be gentle with him and associate with him on friendly terms as long as he remains among us."

"There is no goodness in you if you did not say that"

Such was the remark of ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, when a man commanded him to fear Allaah The Almighty and some of the people in the gathering objected. He, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: "Let him say it”; then, addressing the man, he said: “There would be no goodness in you if you did not say that and no goodness in us if we did not accept it."



Being respected for one’s candor

We are required to encourage others to be frank and we must not be harsh with them when they openly express their inner feelings, which may even betray a weakness of theirs. We should follow the example of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, when Basheer ibn Al-Khasaasiyah, may Allaah be pleased with him, came to him to give the pledge of allegiance and agreed to everything except performing Jihaad (fighting in the path of Allaah) and giving in charity. He said: "As for Jihaad, I am a coward and I fear that if I participated in battle, I would flee; and if I did, I would be inflicted with the wrath of Allaah." When, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said to him: "O Basheer, no charity and no Jihaad! How, then, would you enter Paradise?"; he, may Allaah be pleased with him, promised to do everything else. Consider how the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, accepted the bluntness of that man and did not even comment on his self-description as a coward, with a word that might hurt him.





Misconceptions

Some people have certain misconceptions about candor, believing that it entails impoliteness; hence, they are brutal when offering advice and they use hurtful and inconsiderate words. However, there is no goodness in guidance conveyed in this manner; rather, it will have the opposite effect. We have seen in the aforementioned examples how frankness was accompanied with extreme politeness and concern for the feelings of others, which made others more receptive to the advice.

Another misconception is that some people confuse sociability with receptiveness. Thus, they may approve of evil, live with the immoral and refrain from uttering any word under the pretext of friendliness or to serve certain interests and deflect harms. Nonetheless, there is a great difference between sociability and receptiveness; according to scholars, the former is one of the characteristics of the believers, which denotes lowering the wing of humility to people, using lenient words and avoiding harsh speech. Certainly, this is one of the greatest ways to boost cordiality. On the other hand, scholars explain that receptiveness implies living with the wicked and expressing approval of their actions by not reproaching them. There is no doubt that such an attitude is prohibited in the Sharee'ah.




Candor is better than hypocrisy and insincere compliments

Some people become annoyed with other’s openness with them. You find them quickly becoming outraged and nervous, and losing control of their reactions. This, in turn, is likely to keep others from being frank with them and counseling them. Had such people been truly wise, they would have known that candor and advice is better for them than cheating, hypocrisy and outward satisfaction alongside concealed hatred and aversion to them and their deeds.

The righteous and pious would seek a mentor, knowing such a friend to be a means of safety sooner or later. The following story clearly indicates this: it was narrated that a woman whose husband was absent was mentioned in a negative manner in the presence of ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, who, then, sent for her. She remarked: "Oh, woe is me! What will I do with ‘Umar?” On her way, and out of fear of ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, she felt labor pains and gave birth to a baby who cried twice, then died immediately. ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, then consulted his companions, some of whom said that he was not responsible, for his role was that of a ruler and an enforcer of discipline. ‘Ali, however, remained silent, so ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with them both, turned to him and said, "O Abu Al-Hasan, what do you say regarding this matter?" He, may Allaah be pleased with him, replied, "If this is their real opinion, then they are mistaken; and if they said this to please you, then they have not quite advised you. You should pay his Diyyah (blood money) because you scared her and she then delivered the baby.” Consequently, ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, acted accordingly. Hence, because of that candor, every person was given his or her due and those entitled to rights, were not deprived of them.





(Islamweb)