A new Muslim feeling the decrease of his faith

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Question

As Salaam Alaikum, I reverted to Islam in Jan. 2006. I was very excited after years of running around in circle not know what life what about. Before I became muslim I was christian but when I prayed I would always asked Allah to show me what was the reason or why was I born. So here I am muslim. I moved away from home away from my kids because there where no muslim. It was hard for me being no muslim and family not agreeing at all. So I was away for months and began missing my kids. So I return home and that now was my biggest mistake. I still pray everyday all five salats. I read the Quran and try to do my best to stay muslim. There is a masjid about 45 minutes from here but they are innovators so I only go to Jumurah. I would like to return and leave where I live because it is really hurting me. I would like to return to the masjid or move to another town so that I can continue worshipping Allah. I am willing to leave home and really be committed. In the Quran it read Know that your wife and children are but enemies to you. THat I didnt know until I came back home. ANd it also read that your property and children are but trials for you. I really miss Islam and want to return but how do I do it. How do I prepare what do I do and how to do it. I want to do what is right. I feel little embarss writing and I havent spoken to anyone at my old masjid because I feel stupid for leaving off the best thing that has ever happen to me Islam. I ask Allah to forgive me for what I have done many times over. I wish to return back so please help me.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/Archive/images/icon--1.gif is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we welcome you and we thank you for visiting our site, and all perfect praise be to Allaah Who guided you to Islam. We ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the Day you meet Him.
You should know that you are still a Muslim, praise be to Allaah. Since you perform the prayer and recite the Quran, you are doing good.
The feeling of remorse and regret which you feel because of being negligent is evidence that you have a live heart, all perfect praise be to Allaah. Indeed Allaah swore by the reproaching soul, as He Says (what means): {And I swear by the reproaching soul.}[Quran 75:2]; meaning, swearing by the soul of a believer which blames him for being negligent. Feeling that your faith decreased does not mean that you are out of the fold of Islam because every person is subjected to the decrease of his faith. Faith increases with acts of obedience to Allaah and decreases with acts of disobedience.
The Prophet http://www.islamweb.net/ver2/Archive/images/icon--1.gif informed us that a Muslim is tried and he commits a sin, then he repents, and he forgets and sins again, and then he repents again, and so forth. Hence, you should seek repentance every time you sin as Allaah loves those who repent.
You should also seek to increase your faith by performing acts of obedience and staying away from acts of disobedience.
If you know that by staying with your family and staying away from your Muslim brothers is the reason of the decrease of your faith, then you should leave your family and move to a town where there are many Muslims, and then you may visit your children from time to time.
Your young children below the age of puberty are considered Muslims because the children follow the better of the two parents in religion, as clarified in Fatwa 81957. You should try to cultivate them as Muslims if you can, and you should fulfil their right of spending on them and cultivating them according to your ability.
For more benefit on the means of remaining steadfast on the religion, please refer to Fataawa 85275 and 85477, and to Fatwa 88104 on how to increase one's faith, and Fatwa 86405 on residing in a non-Muslim country.
Allaah Knows best.