Etiquettes of dialogue and speech -III






· Not revealing the secrets of the gathering: If the person to whom one is speaking to clearly requests him not to reveal what took place in the gathering, or even hints at this, then it is binding upon him to honor the request, unless doing so entails harm being afflicted upon other Muslims, in which case one must inform the concerned people. The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a person speaks to another some words, then he turns around, then it is a trust.” [Abu Daawood & At-Tirmithi] Meaning, if the person who speaks first turns left and right to make sure that nobody can hear him, then this indicates that he does not want anybody else to hear. Therefore, the one who is spoken to is not allowed to reveal what went on between the two of them, or else it is considered a betrayal.

· Not abandoning or boycotting a fellow Muslim for more than three days: The limit of abandoning or deserting a fellow Muslim and therefore not speaking to him can only be for a maximum of three days, as set for us by the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ); after that, one is Islamically obliged to talk to him.

· Deserting an innovator or sinner for a sought benefit: Refusing to talk to a sinner or innovator can at times be beneficial, and in such a case it is permissible to do so. A close relative of `Abdullaah Ibn Mughaffal may Allaah be pleased with him was once flicking pebbles at animals using his index finger and thumb. `Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with him said: “The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) has forbidden this, saying that it does not kill the game.” The man ignored him and repeated the act, so `Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with him said to him: "I told you that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) has prohibited this, but you persisted. I shall never talk to you again."

· The ruling on talking to a person in prayer: This is permissible if the need arises. Umm Salamah may Allaah be pleased with her once saw the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) praying two Rak’ahs after the ‘Asr prayer, so she sent a female slave and told her to stand next to him in order to remind him that he had forbidden praying after the ‘Asr prayer (and before Maghrib). When she did so, he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) waved his hand at her, indicating that she should leave him be. After he sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) finished praying, he informed her that he had been caught up in explaining certain matters of the religion to another Muslim and therefore could not pray the optional prayer after Thuhr, so he was making up for it.

· Talking to one's wife in a pleasant manner: This is one of the means to establish harmony between the man and his wife, as well as to increase love and strengthen marital bonds.