Jokes and wonders of the Bible

آخـــر الـــمـــشـــاركــــات


مـواقـع شـقــيـقـة
شبكة الفرقان الإسلامية شبكة سبيل الإسلام شبكة كلمة سواء الدعوية منتديات حراس العقيدة
البشارة الإسلامية منتديات طريق الإيمان منتدى التوحيد مكتبة المهتدون
موقع الشيخ احمد ديدات تليفزيون الحقيقة شبكة برسوميات شبكة المسيح كلمة الله
غرفة الحوار الإسلامي المسيحي مكافح الشبهات شبكة الحقيقة الإسلامية موقع بشارة المسيح
شبكة البهائية فى الميزان شبكة الأحمدية فى الميزان مركز براهين شبكة ضد الإلحاد

يرجى عدم تناول موضوعات سياسية حتى لا تتعرض العضوية للحظر

 

       

         

 

    

 

 

    

 

Jokes and wonders of the Bible

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Thread: Jokes and wonders of the Bible

  1. #11
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    Episode 8

    Eunuch

    Deuteronomy 23 )The Message)


    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=MSG

    1 No eunuch is to enter the congregation of GOD. 2 No bastard is to enter the congregation of GOD, even to the tenth generation, nor any of his children.


    What is the fault of eunuch

    But he should also eunuchs himself to enter heaven

    Matthew 19)New American Standard Bible)


    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...9&version=NASB

    12"For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

    Why do you eunuchs yourselves for the kingdom of heaven??

  2. #12
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    The ninth Episopde

    Christ riding on two donkeys together!!!!

    Matthew 21 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...21&version=NIV

    5"Say to the Daughter of Zion,
    'See, your king comes to you,
    gentle and riding on a donkey,
    on a colt,
    the foal of a donkey.' "[a]
    6The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them



  3. #13
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    Episode 10


    David

    Samuel2 : 23 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...23&version=NIV

    8 These are the names of David's mighty men:
    Josheb-Basshebeth, a Tahkemonite, was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter.


    Blessings on the Prophet

    Chronicles1 : 11 )New American Standard Bible)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...1&version=NASB

    11These constitute the list of the mighty men whom David had: Jashobeam, the son of a Hachmonite, the chief of the thirty; he lifted up his spear against three hundred whom he killed at one time.

    The first report said 800 and the second said 300 !!!!
    So tell me 300 or 800
    And one more question
    Is this a bomb or a spear !!!!!!!

  4. #14
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    Episode eleven

    See how the Palestinians were killed

    Judges 3 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+3&version=NIV

    31 After Ehud came Shamgar son of Anath, who struck down six
    hundred Philistines with an oxgoad
    . He too saved Israel.


    Oh my god


    Judges 15 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...15&version=NIV

    15 Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men.
    16 Then Samson said,
    "With a donkey's jawbone
    I have made donkeys of them
    With a donkey's jawbone
    I have killed a thousand men
    ."


    Oh my God

  5. #15
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    Although I don't like to make jokes on others' belief but for the Christians the bible makes jokes on them

    I liked your post
    Thank you sis !
    أنا لم أولد عبثاً لكي أموت عبثاً


    اللهم يا مقلب القلوب و الأبصار ثبت قلبي على دينكـ الإسلام

    رحمك الله يا جوليانا و جمعنا بكِ في جنة الخلد

  6. #16
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    Quote
    Although I don't like to make jokes on others' belief but for the Christians the bible makes jokes on them

    I liked your post
    Thank you sis !

    Thank you sis

  7. #17
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    Episode 12

    Break the neck of the donkey

    Exodus 13 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...13&version=NIV

    13 Redeem with a lamb every firstborn donkey, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem every firstborn among your sons.


    Why is this ?

    What is the fault of the donkey ?

  8. #18
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    Episode 13

    Chapter of Greetings

    Romans 16 )New International Version)

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...16&version=NIV

    1I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea. 2I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me. 3Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. 4They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. 5Greet also the church that meets at their house. Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia. 6Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you. 7Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was. 8Greet Ampliatus, whom I love in the Lord. 9Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys. 10Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the household of Aristobulus. 11Greet Herodion, my relative. Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord. 12Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord. 13Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too. 14Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them. 15Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them. 16Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings.
    17I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. 19Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.
    20The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.
    The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.
    21Timothy, my fellow worker, sends his greetings to you, as do Lucius, Jason and Sosipater, my relatives.
    22I, Tertius, who wrote down this letter, greet you in the Lord.
    23Gaius, whose hospitality I and the whole church here enjoy, sends you his greetings.
    Erastus, who is the city's director of public works, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings.[



    What is the importance of reading all these greetings ? what is the message that God wants to tell us from it
    ?

  9. #19
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    Episode 14


    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...+3&version=NIV

    8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"


    Why did they hide among trees ?

    didn't they know that God exists everywhere !!!!!!

    Why did God ask "Where are you?"
    ????????

    Dosen't he know where to find his creatures


  10. #20
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    Episode 15

    Captive Woman in the bible

    Deuteronomy 21 )New International Version)


    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...21&version=NIV

    Marrying a Captive Woman

    10 When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives, 11 if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. 12 Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails 13 and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. 14 If you are not pleased with her, let her go

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Jokes and wonders of the Bible

Jokes and wonders of the Bible