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Do Muslims Beat Their Wives?

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Written by From Yusuf Estes collection
Sunday, 08 February 2009
"Do Muslims Beat Their Wives?"
Special Update: Islam Forbids All Oppression

- The Quran orders men to "Protect and Defend - ALL WOMEN" the word often mistranslated as "beat lightly" is better understood as . . .

Written by former Christian convert to Islam, Yusuf Estes - to bring light on this most important subject.

the English term "percuss" (an action doctors use while examining patients upper torso - light tapping while listening to their backs or chests).
(ref: explanation of surah An-Nisa, verse 34)


So many questions about treatment of women in Islam - and what Muslim men do with their wives.


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Question:

What about the treatement of the women in Islam. Why does the Quran tell men to "wadhribu hunna" - "Does this mean to "beat their wives"? (chapter 4, verse 34)

Answer: No, it does not. (read this answer slowly and carefully)

Statement - before we begin with this one: The prophet of Allah, Muhammad, peace be upon him, tells us Allah has said,
"Before the creation of the universe, I forbid that I would oppress and I hate when anyone oppresses."

Answer:

Let us consider a very basic understanding of the advent of Islam and the reason for it to be revealed in the time and place where it came. Here is a brief, yet clear statement of purpose with the coming of Islam:

Treatment in Relationships - in Islam, it is all about treatment; how you treat your Lord; how you treat His messenger; how you treat yourself; how you treat your family; how you treat others; how you treat your enviornment - it is always about treatement.

We must keep in mind the condition of the people who were without the guidance of Almighty God and how they had strayed far away from the message that came with Adam, Abraham, Moses and other great prophets, peace be upon them all.
The ignorant and selfish mentality the prevailed throughout the Arab lands did not allow women even the most basic of rights and the treatment of women was abhorent. Women were being treated as property, even less than the status of livestock. They were offered in trade or taken in marriage without consent or consideration for their feelings at all. The customs of the people at the time were far away from anything we might imagine today.

Statements in the Quran pertaining to the treatment of the women came to improve their condition and to raise their status to a level of balance alongside of men. Islam came to change the hearts of the people and show them the proper way to worship Allah and to interact with each other.

Now let us review the proper method of providing answers for Islam in general.

First we would say, "Thank you for asking about Islam. It is our committment to try our best to provide answers to questions to the best of our ability. However, sometimes we come across questions for which we do not have answers. In this case we will refer you to others who may be able to provide you with proper answers."

Second, we remind ourselves and the one questioning Islam to be aware, we as Muslims, must never lie about anything, especially our religion.

Third, we do have the original text of the Quran and the preserved teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him. This enables us to verify exactly what was said, intended and taught by Muhammad, peace be upon him, as being the religion of Islam.

Fourth, I would like to remind myself and all who read this in the future that not all questions are purely questions. Some contain statements and implications, that may or may not be true.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind anytime we discover something in the answers to actually be better than what we already have, we should be committed to change our position and accept that which is true over that which is false and take that which is better for that which is inferior.

After taking all of the above into consideration, if we find that the answer to this question provides us with a better approach to understanding what Almighty God has provided us with as a way of life on this earth and in the Next Life, we should then make the logical decsion to begin to worship Him on His terms.

Having said that, let us now look to the particular verse in question in the original text (Arabic), followed by the phonetic sounds in Latin letters and then finally, followed by a translation of the meaning to the English language by experts in both Arabic and in Quranic meanings.

Transliteration
Ar-rejalu qawwa muna 'alan-nisa'a bima fadhdhallahu ba'dhahum 'ala bi'dhi wa bima anfaqu min amwalihim. Fas-saliHatu qaintat HafaTHatul-lilghaybi bimaa HafiTHal-lahu, wal-lati takhaafuna nushuza hunna fa'iTHuu hunnaa wa hjuruu hunna fiil-lmadhaa ji'i wadhribu hunna. Faa'in aTa'nakum flaa tabghuu 'alayhinna sabiilan. Innal-laha kaana 'aliyaan kabiira(n).

One Explanation (tafsir) given of this surahc (chapter 4:34) according to some scholars is:
“Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women who are averse in behavior, talk to them suasively, leave them alone in bed and tap them (like a doctor would tap a patient - lightly), if they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great.”

Meaning of the Words
For the three words fa'izu, wahjaru, and wadribu in the original, translated here 'talk to them suasively,' 'leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage'),' and tap lightly (percuss them), respectively,

Fa'izu (to use persuasive speech or admonishment)
Fa'izu, implies the first step should be to make clear to them using straight talk, the position they are in and what is required to comply with the teaching of Islam. This approach may be repeated until it is established she has understood and is willing to comply and come back into line with the proper expected of a Muslim woman. (comentary provided by Yusuf Estes)

Hajara - Wahjaru (do not touch or moleste them)
Hajara, he says, means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kshshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.'

Daraba (tap lightly as 'percuss', not to beat)
daraba lightly tap them (women).' This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim:

"Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?"
There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God's handmaidens."

Source:
Al-Qur'an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79

In the past, some translators of this verse have mistakeningly used the word "beat" to represent the word "dhaaraba" in Arabic. This is not the opinion of all scholars especially Raghib and Zamakhshari as mentioned above and those who are well grounded in both Islam understanding and the English language.

Quran: (Surah An-Nisaa' [The Women] 4:34)
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend from their means (to support the women). Therefore the righteous women are devout and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill*conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, go back to them (in intimacy), if they return to obedience and do not seek any means of annoyance against them. Certainly, Allah is Most High, Most Great.

Other translators have offered words such as, "tap" and "pat" to represent a physical type of admonisment. While definitely coming closer to what might be acceptable in many circles than such expressions as "hit" or "beat", this still does not properly demonstrate the position and usage of such terms in relation to the first of the verse and the connection to the following passage, wherein the clear instructions deal with the women who do not come into compliance. Therefore, it likely be considered to mean: "tap lightly as a doctor would examine a patient".

And Allah is the All-Knower. (commentary from Yusuf Estes)

We understand from this some of the translations are not properly representing the spirit of the meaning. Therefore, they cannot be considered to be the representation of what has been intended by Almighty God.

Now we can properly understand that Almighty God has commanded the men to provide for the women and allow them to keep all of their wealth, inheritance and income without demanding anything from them for support and maintenance. Additionally, if she should be guilty of lewd or indecent conduct, the husband is told to first, admonish her and then she should cease this lewdness. However, if she should continue in this indecency, then he should no longer share the bed with her, and this would continue for a period of time. Finally, if she would repent then he would take up sharing the bed with her again.

Dr. Jamal Badawi (St. Mary's University, Nova Scotia) is of the opinion these (three stages) are necessary steps prior to divorce. Instead of a man saying, "I divorce you" three times in a row, he should follow this procedure before acting hastily and thereby doing something unwise and displeasing to Allah. The first step would be as mentioned above, to give her a "good talking to" and then if she continued in such unpleasing behavior, to leave the bed (not have intercourse with her) for a period of time and then finally, the last straw would be to "pat" her on the arm (as you would stroke a sheep or animal) to signify to her this is the final straw and then if she still persisted in her bad way, he could divorce her.

Regardless of the various positions and opinions, there is no permission established through the teachings of the Quran or the Sunnah (way) of Muhammad, peace be upon him, wherein one person could "beat" another person at their own discretion.

Any translations of the Quran indicating women can be beaten or abused by men is totally out of touch with the message of Islam from the rest of the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him.

And Allah is All Knowing of the meanings of His ayahs (verses in Quran).

* percuss v.t. strike, tap, especially part of body in medical diagnosis.

The only form of "strking" allowed in Islam is: "Percuss: a light tap, similar to that used in examining patients."
Meaning of "percuss" - a striking or tapping of the body done by an examiner while diagnosing a patient; a type of tapping done for examination reasons.

The following instructions are provided for making medical examinations using the technique of "percuss":
"Method Of Examination Using Percuss"

Author: A. Chandrasekhar Taken from Loyola Medial Education Website [click]


Percuss the chest all around. Stand back, have the patient cross arms to shoulder. This maneuver will wing the scapula and expose the posterior thorax. Then, have the patient keep their hands over head and percuss axilla. Then move to the front and percuss anterior chest , clavicles and supraclavicular space.

Percuss the lung fields, alternating, from top to bottom and comparing sides.

Percuss over the intercostal space and note the resonance and the feel of percussion.
Keep the middle finger firmly over the chest wall along intercostal space and tap chest over distal interphalangeal joint with middle finger of the opposite hand.
The movement of tapping should come from the wrist.
Tap 2-3 times in a row.
Do not leave the percussing finger on chest , otherwise you will dampen the sound.
Stand on one side and with your flat of hand, tap the chest from top to bottom and from side to side to compare. I use this method as a screening step to identify the area of abnormality.

NOTE: The statements regarding the type of "tapping" using the word "percuss" are from Loyola Medial Education website

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http://www.islamnewsroom.com/content/view/665/52/

[nohataha]

Written by www.Sukuk.net (Arab News)
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Why is everyone talking about Islams Women?
What is the Real Story - behind the headlines?
* Do Muslims say Eve is responsible for the sin of Adam?
* Is there a curse of God on women in child birth?
* Does Islam tell men to oppress and beat their women?
* Can men force women to marry them?
* Are Muslim girls married against their will?
AUDIO - VIDEO - PRINT - WALLPAPER - QUIZ - CARDS














Women in Islam
- Lecture by Sheikh Yusuf Estes
Part 1 & Part 2



Living in the West
- Lecture by Sheikh Yusuf Estes
WATCH
Beauty of a Muslim Woman
- Reminder by Siraj Wahhaj
WATCH


Hijab - A Religious Symbol?
- Lecture by Sheikh Bilal Philips
WATCH
Future Muslims
- Lecture by Sheikh Yusuf Estes
PART 1 & PART 2




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Last Updated ( Saturday, 14 March 2009 )

[nohataha]

Written by www.Sukuk.net (Arab News)

"Man can marry four - why not women marry four?"
Date: Tuesday, March 02 @ 1559 HST
Topic: Harsh Questions asked by Non-Muslims
From: Islam Always .com


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Bismillah Rahman Raheem
RE: Question - "Islam gives man permission to marry four wives. Why can't a woman have four husbands?


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Answer - Al Hamdulilah, was-salat was-salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim.
(It is Allah who has All Knowledge).

Rights and Limits
First of all, it is important for us to keep in mind that Islam came to establish two very important fundamentals for human beings:
Rights and Limits.

Everyone and everything has certain rights given to it by the Creator and Sustainer of the universe (Allah). At the same time, each creation has its own limitations established by Allah.

First Right - Allah has the right to be worshipped without making partners from what He has created. Direct worship to Him, alone.

Second Right - Prophet's right to be followed according to his treaching and commandments.

Third Right - Parents rights to be honored and cared for, with special emphasis on the mother first.

Fourth Right - Wives and Husbands have rights on each other.

Conditions 1,400 Years Ago
Now let us do some basic research here. We begin by looking into the condition of the women in various societies at the time 1,400 years ago when Allah revealed the Quran to Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Pagan Arabs - Burying Girls Alive
During that time the pagan Arab men used to bury their newborn daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having something so low and disgusting like a girl instead of a son. Women were treated horribly and with utter disgust.

Men could marry as many as they liked and very often they owned women like cattle or sheep. There were no laws to protect the women and they had no rights at all.

Christians - Arguing If Women Had Souls
Christians at that time were holding council meetings to determine whether or not a woman even had a soul. The church blamed "Eve" the mother of all humans after Adam, peace be upon him, for the "original sin" and damned her and her seed for what she had done.

Priests - Best Men - Forbidden Marriage - To Any Women
Priests, bishops, cardnels and even the Pope are the very best of the Catholic men within the church. Yet the church still forbids their clergymen the chance for marriage and families. This unnatural situation has caused very serious ramifications throughout the society around the world.

Nuns - Best Women - No Marriage - No Children
Nuns are the very best of the Catholic women. They cover themselves in proper attire much the same way as the Muslim women. Yet, they are never allowed to marry or have children throughout their lives. This unnatural condition has caused untold number of disgraceful and disgusting practices within the very church itself.

If Only Bad People Have Children - What About Tomorrow?
We must ask the question, "If the very best of the men and the very best of the women are not allowed to marry or have children - does this mean only the worst of the people are the ones allowed to reproduce and populate the world?" - And where will that leave us tomorrow?

Jews - Blame Women and Curse Women
The Jews blamed women for the "original sin" and as such they were treated with disgust. A woman's monthly cycle was considered by the Old Testament of the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her inequities. Her child bearing pains were also a 'punishment from God' for her bringing man down from heaven.

Islam - No Blame On Women For Evil
Islam does not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them accepted their own mistake and repented to Allah, and asked Allah to forgive them and Allah did forgive them.

Now before going any further, please read surah An Nisa (chapter 4 in the Quran) - all the way through, in order to better understand what is actually being said about women, men and marriage.

[Want A FREE Quran? - click here]

Read Quran
Now let us think about the verses. Do you believe that Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed the perfect 'deen'? Do you know the condition of the people at the time the order came to restrict the number of wives? (Restricted to be only four)

Now read the verse about having more than one wife, very carefully. [4:3]

What does it say? And what do you understand from it?

Now read the ayah (verse) that forbids men to marry women who are already married. [4:24].

Now read from An Nisa (Chapter 4) about the role of men and women. [4:34]

Man Supports And Protects Women
Do you understand that one must take on the role of supporter, protector, provider, custodian and servant to the family (man's role)?

Woman Gives Birth - Raises Children

One must take on the role of carrying the child and delivering it and then feeding it and raising it to become a true servant of Allah (woman's role).

Not Equal - But Treated Fairly In Justice
Men and women are not the same nor are they "equal" as some folks would have us believe. Whatever is on one side of an 'equals' sign must be exactly the same as what is on the other side without any difference in value, only in the way that it is expressed. How then could we say that a man, who is unable to conceive or give birth and then breast feed a baby is the equal to a woman who can?

Equal In Faith And Actions
They are equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But still they are not the same as each other. Each one must fulfill their role as humans.

Children's Rights Protected
Islam is also very much about rights. Children also have rights in Islam. When a man dies his wealth is left to his family. How could the court know who to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of several husbands to a woman? How would a child know who his father was? No society ever supported the concept of a woman being married to two or more men at the same time.

Women's Right - Best Treatment
Almost every society supported the concept of a man having more than one woman. Yet, they did not limit the number nor did they provide the protection and maintenance that Islam insists on for each one. Islam came to set things straight. Women were given rights. Men were strictly ordered to treat their women with the very best of treatment.

Limit - Number in Marriage
When the verse was revealed the companions of Muhammad, peace be upon him, did not run out with the attitude that they were going to get four wives all of a sudden. Some of them already had much more than that and these men had to divorce their wives, if they had more than four. So this was not an order to go out and get four wives. It was an order to begin limitations. And the first limitation was; No more than four.

Limit - Equal Maintenance and Treatment
Second, the limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How could a man keep more than one wife unless he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly strong and virile?

Next, the limitation very clearly states; ".. but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one ..."

Muslims Today - Most Monogamous
Step by step, the men of Islam have come to be known today as the most monogamous of all men on earth (we only have one wife). Check for yourself and see. In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth, a man gets married once, to one woman and then he stays married to her until the death of either himself or his wife.

Woman's Right To Choose Any Husband She Likes -
Even If He Is Already Married
One very important point that is often overlooked by modern society is the right that Islam gave to the women that it does not give to the man. A man is limited to marry only from the woman who is not already married. Obviously, this provides rights for the children and provides for them from inheritance from the father. But Islam also permits the women to marry a man who is already married to protect her in a society where the number of women outnumbers the population of men. Additionally, the woman has a large selection of men to choose from. In fact, she has the right to choose from any man in the community as long as he does not already have four wives. She also has the opportunity to see how the other wife was being treated and go into a marriage knowing exactly what to expect from her husband. After all, he must treat her in the same way as he is treating the other wife.

Women Need Husbands - Allah Provided the Answer
The prophet, peace be upon him, predicted that in the Last Days the women would outnumber the men to a great extent. Today we are seeing this become a reality all over the world. Allah has already provided for us for this occasion. After all, He is the One who makes it all happen and He already knew that many women would come into Islam in these days. He also knew many of the Muslim men would be killed or die at an early age, just as it is happening these days. These women all need husbands. Allah has given us the solution to all of life's problems.

Women's Right to Vote - 1,400 Years Ago
We might add that Islam also gave the women full status as citizens over 1,400 years ago by giving her to right to speak and vote the same as anyone else. American women had to take their cause to the streets with "Women's Suffrage" and were not granted the right to vote until just ninety years ago.

Women Keep Their Identity - And Their Names
Additionally, Islam protected women's rights to keep their identity and they were not considered property of some man. As such, they were no longer forced to change their last names to be that of their husbands. This is still the practice of Muslim women today just as it was fourteen hundred years ago.

Women Keep Their Property And Earnings - Men Must Share
Yet, at the same time the western society is so concerned about the way Islam demands that a couple be married, the man actually must work instead of the woman; the woman owns her own property without giving anything for the support of the house or the child; a child has the right to his or her own mother raising them instead of a baby sitter or day care; father must support his children; divorce is hated; and marriage is sanctified.

West Can't Tolerate Man And Woman - In Marriage
It is strange isn't it, a society like America, has no problem accepting sex without marriage; homosexuality; same sex marriages; sex without responsibility; children without fathers; and divorces are more common place than the measles or chicken pox. Yet, there is no tolerance for marriage between a man and a woman if it is not on their terms.

What Needs to Be Re-evaluated?
Compare the two for yourself and see which one needs correction.

We will be waiting to hear from you. May Allah Bless you all and increase you in all that is good, ameen.


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Jazakumallahu khairan was salam alaykum,

Yusuf Estes
National Muslim Chaplain
http://www.islamtomorrow.com/

For information on how priests and preachers are coming to Islam: www.IslamTomorrow.com/yusuf/

[رقيه]

جزاكم الله جميعا الف خير ونفع بكم الاسلام و المسلمين
واسال الله ان يكون عملكم خالصا لوجهه الكريم .
اعتذر عن التأخر و ذلك لانشاغلي في العمل و الدراسه .
وفقني الله و ايا كم

" من لا يشكر الناس لا يشكر الله "

[ساعد فيصل]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (one who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).” Qur'an 49:13

Rights & Duties of spouses

Rights of the Wife to accept or reject any marriage proposal to receive “MAHR”, a gift from the husband to be treated with kindness and respect to be provided with food, shelter, and clothing to possess personal property, to acquire education and to seek employment to be consulted before any major family decisions to seek divorce if her husband chooses to marry another woman

Rights of the Husband to be treated with kindness and respect to have his property, secrets and privacy secured by his wife to have the final say in major family decisions, after consultation to marry up to four wives, provided he abides by all conditions

Duties of the Husband to give “MAHR”, a gift, to his wife to treat his wife with kindness and and respect to provide his wife and family with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities to fulfill his role as Father to his children to consult his wife before making any major family decisions

Duties of the Wife to treat her husband with kindness and respect to keep, protect and guard her husband’s secrets, their marital privacy, and her husband’s property to manage household affairs to fulfill her role as Mother to her children to abide by any decisions made by her husband, after consultation